My child, in his work clothes and hat, is asleep next to his newborn. This photo throws me into a double quantum leap. My brain straddles the present as I peer at a mixture of time realities.

This tridimensional experience is jammed with emotions I don’t know what to do with and can’t explain. Am I in awe of my grandchild’s birth? Proud that my son is a good father? Missing his childhood? Just feeling old? Why is my time perspectives spliced together? This is my fifth grandchild.

When I visit my son’s home, I watch from the opposite side of a glass door behind a mask. Smart hubby explained that our present socially distant reality is causing this jumble of feelings that tip me between multiple time perspectives at once.

The living picture before me of my son, his wife, their baby, and a menagerie of pets through their full-length, glass, screen door is their present reality. One live snapshot that moves and talks and cries and barks and pees on the carpet and claws the furniture. I’m grateful for this glass door that gives me an unimpaired view. And, unlike a typical visit, they stand on display, giving me their direct attention. Like I’m hugging them from outside a huge bottle.

My mother had preferred watching me hold my newborns. She enjoyed her visit most that way because she could see the baby more clearly from her seat across from me. And, of course, babies are more comfortable in their parent’s embrace when learning a new face. I finally understand this as I look at my grandchild in my son’s arms. I’m not only seeing a content baby, I’m feeling quiet joy radiating from a new father. What a view! What an experience. For a split second, we’re all in the same dimension; the same space.

So, I guess I can’t admit that I miss holding our newest family member as I peer into those two time dimensions that bend together on the other side of the glass. All three realities will mesh soon enough after our health crisis is over. Then, I won’t feel like I missed my grandbaby’s newborn time on earth. I can travel again.

Deep love buries selfishness.

Proud of my family. Proud of me. 

I’m married to George Bailey, the fictional character played by James Stewart in the 1947 movie It’s A Wonderful Life. My goal this holiday season is to read the short story The Greatest Gift by Philip Van Doren Stern, published in 1943, on which this movie was based. Maybe you too identify with the Everyman character of George Bailey and his seemingly simple life.

Like the Baileys, hubby and I bought an old, drafty, handyman’s special house surrounded by family living in the same town. Instead of the depression era, hubby and I were young adults during the ‘80s recession. We also populated our home with four children and are still making original home repairs after living here for over 30 years. We’re lacking the loose newel post, though.

Hubby calls me Mary Bailey, and jokes that if he never was born, I’d be an old maid working at the public library. No children, no grandchildren, no rustic old home, no anxious husband who works too much and stresses during the holidays. Surely, no wonderful life. I don’t need George's guardian angel, Clarence Odbody, to show me hubby is probably right.

My George is also hearing challenged. And he may not build homes for a living, but he feeds the homeless during his lunch break at work. What I love the most about my George is that he too is spiritual in a down-to-earth way that’s honest and sincere.

It’s A Wonderful Life is our favorite movie to quote dialogue from, since personal situations remind us of this story more than any other. Re-watching this timeless movie reminds me we’re not the only ones who struggle in spite of working hard and trying our best without cutting corners in our moral compass. Yet, during especially difficult times, it’s human to identify with George’s consideration that his family would be better off with money from his life insurance policy than with him. So, when I saw the plaque pictured above at a fair, I bought all three in stock as gifts for George and family who also admire this classic.

We’re in good company with other real-life Baileys in America whose actions start reactions to beneficial results, and don’t know it.

Happy holidays Everyone.

          https://search.creativecommons.org/photos/45028c66-61de-488f-922f-0b0d6c14bd87

Their childhood was interrupted by history.

Schools closed without celebration.  

They washed their hands a lot.

Wore masks.

By Halloween, they were tired of face coverings.

Dad and Mom stayed home from work, too nervous to be fun.

Lots of people stayed home.

Outside, it was so quiet.

Only a few cars going by. Less planes humming overhead.

Stores closed.

Ah, for hours with Mom working the clothes racks.

Computer games felt like online math on a smaller screen.

It was wacky Wednesday every day, where they wore pajamas perpetually.

They ate school lunches at home.

No lunch bunch to complain to about mushy vegetables and hard grilled cheese sandwiches.

So, they talk to friendly faces on a screen.

Even do old-school texting—snail mailing notes back and forth.

Relatives visit from their cars. No messy kisses or tweaking cheeks!

Things come to the door almost every day: take-out food, books, shoes, clothes, furniture, toys, decorations.

They think more than they ever thought.

They fight more than they ever fought.

And wonder if their pandemic stories will make future kids say, “Ooh” and “Aah” and “What did it feel like to go through that?”

They’re storytellers now.

Heroes and heroines, whose childhood is present history.

I’d been jonesing for a solar powered home since the only option was to buy solar panels. They were so expensive that money saved using them wasn’t assured to cover the cost of the panels and their instillation for 10 or more years. Creating a smaller carbon footprint is now more viable.

Hubby and I are renting the solar panels on our roof because we know nothing about maintaining them or storing the energy they produce. I had heard positives about Trinity Solar, so we went with them. The following is an honest description of our experience. I’ve included our PSE&G bills from the year before we incorporated solar energy, this year’s PSE&G bills, and our IGS Solar bills. You may check my math.

The Trinity salesperson frazzled us by showing up a day before our appointment time. During his spiel, if he mentioned we’d receive a bill from PSE&G, and a bill from IGS Solar, we may have paused with more questions. IGS owns the panels and receives tax credits on the panels’ harvesting of solar energy.

The salesperson mentioned a $500.00 start-up bonus. We understood this as compensation for Trinity needing someone home for days to allow access to our attic and basement before, during, and after the panels’ installation. However, we failed to get the bonus agreement in writing. So, no bonus for us.

We have pictures of the installers from Trinity on our roof with a large water jug perched on our chimney’s lining. When the installers left, I found bricks from or chimney thrown in our yard with wet putty slathered on them. Trinity never told us they had knocked loose the bricks or that they had tried to repair them. Trinity denied doing damage to the chimney. However, our pictures show the chimney intact with the water jug atop the chimney.

Our solar panels collect kilowatts of energy. IGS Solar charges us for those kilowatts. Since the panels were installed in the summer, our first IGS bill was $178.05. This shocked us. We don’t have central air conditioning, so our summer PSE&G bills before the solar panel installation were much lower than winter bills (we have electric heat). We weren’t prepared for such a large bill during a summer month. Our winter bills are now lower, but that unexpected initial IGS bill along with our PSE&G bill was a hardship.

PSE&G 2018 to 2019                              PSE&G 2019 to 2020                                IGS Solar 2019 to 2020

8/25/18 to 9/25/18 = $97.82            8/23/19 to 9/25/19 = $132.20                9/1/19 to 9/30/19 = $178.05

9/26/18 to 10/24/18 = 171.05          9/26/19 to 10/24/19 = 23.90                  10/1/19 to 10/31/19 = 93.82

10/25/18 to 11/26/18 = 582.52       10/25/19 to 11/22/19 = 167.78             11/1/19 to 11/30/19 = 80.08

11/27/18 to 12/26/18 = 684.23       11/23/19 to 12/26/19 = 666.68             12/1/19 to 12/31/19 = 53.45

12/27/18 to 1/26/19 = 782.72           12/27/19 to 1/27/20 = 550.24              1/1/20 to 1/31/20 = 66.69

1/27/19 to 2/26/19 = 816.88             1/28/20 to 2/26/20 = 504.36                 2/1/20 to 2/29/20 = 82.91

2/27/19 to 3/27/19 = 599.50             2/27/20 to 3/26/20 = 354.79                 3/1/20 to 3/31/20 = 123.85

3/28/19 to 4/26/19 = 331.02              3/27/20 to 4/27/20 = 249.34                4/1/20 to 4/30/20 = 152.96

4/27/19 to 5/29/19 = 192.06              4/28/20 to 5/27/20 = 23.09                  5/1/20 to 5/31/20 = 189.10

5/29/19 to 6/26/19 = 67.90                 5/28/20 to 6/25/20 = 21.37                  6/1/20 to 6/30/20 = 206.42

6/27/19 to 7/26/19 = 132.33              6/26/20 to 7/27/20 = 42.02                  7/1/20 to 7/31/20 = 197.72

7/27/19 to 8/22/19 = 102.42               7/28/20 to 8/25/20 = -33.34               8/1/20 to 8/31/20 = 159.25

          $4560.45                                                        $2702.43                                                        $1584.3

                                                                                                                $4286.73

$4560.45 - $4286.73 = $273.72 

Without the small gas part of our bills, we saved $292.86.                                                                                  

As show above, subtracting what we paid PSE&G and IGS this year from what we paid PSE&G last year, minus gas, we saved $292.86. It’s disappointing that we didn’t save more, which is what the salesperson led us to believe would happen. But, we did save some money, if you don’t count the repair work we need done to our chimney. The biggest bonus, which was really our main goal, is that we are conserving resources and helping the environment.

Please leave any questions in the comments section below. If you chose to go with Trinity and let them know I mentioned their company to you, hubby and I may receive $500.00. That will cover almost half the repairs to our chimney.

I wish you clean energy and good health.