Cheap Thrills



            Creativity is the mother of keeping daily life on a shoestring budget from becoming ho-hum.

            Our need to be frugal with entertainment keeps my husband local; in front of the TV.  On the side table next to where I sit on our comfy loveseat beside my hubby in front of his electronic mistress Boob Tube Betty, that seductress of attention via mind numbing massage, I keep foot cream. 

            As Betty lures my husband visually with her explosions and fast vehicles, my work is hands-on.  Starting at his feet, I'm in competition for his attention.  My odd fetish of finding this humble service relaxing myself, works to help digestion after dinner and connecting us hands to feet while questioning Alex Trebec.

            Prying my husband from Betty before dinner came about with the concept of sexy mashed potatoes.  Since he doesn't like whipped potatoes and my mashing left lumps, I prepared the spuds as usual, saving the last step for him.  I promised to watch his biceps bulge as he pounded with the manal masher.  He seemed to enjoy this because he could assure the texture was to his liking.  Could I get away with sexy meatballs?

            Goading a loved one to the table without Betty lit up as the center piece can be challenging.  Although allowing her in the bedroom, I yank her cable when it comes to replacing my lit candles for her lit monitor. 

            I don't trust myself to not turn certain subjects of conversation volutile during our evening meal, so I adopt other people's words.  Recently, I printed out Bill Withers' lyrics to the song, "Lean On Me" after hearing it sung on the "Mike and Molly" situation comedy (alright, thanks Betty).  I put the copy at our man's place setting as a foretasty reminder.  During dinner our attempts at harmony were more fun than a half hour of Betty.  The key was choosing a song with a tune familiar to both of us that had meaning.

            Timing is everything.  A spouse knows when to suggest something new, and when to let Betty have her way after a long miserable work day that's left a spouse empty for antics.  That's when only Betty will do, and I'm grateful for her.       




  1. What a sweet story, Dawn. I really enjoyed it.

  2. Dawn, I can't thank you enough for posting this story.
    I'm always striving to do restaurant reviews that are "sexy." I think Dawn bested me with this piece.
    Ironically, I was eating a meatball sandwich as I read this. For the first time in twenty years I felt like I needed a cigarette after dinner. After my smoke, I'm going to turn the lights down low and eat some mashed potatoes.
    Once again, Dawn. I really can't thank you enough for this story.

  3. Sorry to entice your old cigarette habit, Kevin. Your humorous comment is appreciated. Thanks again.


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